


Almost Heaven, West Virginia

by ShowMeAHero



Series: Lightning in a Bottle [11]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Babies, Cats, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, F/M, Family, Family Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Kid Fic, Kittens, M/M, Pregnancy, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Trans Character, basically just 2.5k words of shameless fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-31
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-06-19 04:16:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15502116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShowMeAHero/pseuds/ShowMeAHero
Summary: Kravitz makes an executive decision. Taako is long-suffering. Magnus wants a farm.





	Almost Heaven, West Virginia

**Author's Note:**

> This story officially pushes us over 100k words total for this series, which is insane, because it's been less than three weeks since I uploaded the first story. Instead of being productive in literally any other way, I've been having fun doing this, so I hope you've all been having fun with me! Because now we have 100k words of fun! Ahh!!
> 
> I had to give them cats. I heard the newest episode. They have cats. Let Them Have Cats. The other reason I wrote this part is because [exuberantoctopus (tardisbluequill)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tardisbluequill/pseuds/exuberantoctopus) commented asking for "a story focused on Blaine and Jules." This isn't fully focused on them, but hopefully it reveals more of their personalities for you!
> 
> The title was taken from ["Take Me Home, Country Roads"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vrEljMfXYo) by John Denver.

When Taako has to go to school for a guest lecture on transmutation, he brings Wyatt with him, because Wyatt has been insufferable all morning when he couldn’t see Taako in his direct line of sight. With Taako and Wyatt out of the house, though, it’s just Kravitz left behind with Blaine and Jules. He looks down at the two of them, they stare back up at him, and nobody moves for a long, long movement.

“Wanna go to the marketplace?” Kravitz eventually asks. Blaine shoves her hands under herself and forces herself up onto her feet. Jules just lifts her hands up, and he crouches to scoop her up. He puts them both in shoes and jackets and takes them outside, at which point they both insist on walking. It’s only a month out from Candlenights, and it’s getting pretty cold outside; there’s a thin layer of frost on the grass that crunches under their boots as they walk. He holds their hands as they go, having to lean slightly to keep a hold on them, making sure they stay upright on their chubby, unsteady legs.

Jules chatters the whole way there, making use of her extremely limited vocabulary to point out every cloud she sees. She also mostly just makes sounds, mumbling nonsense just to hear herself talk. Blaine spends the whole walk trying to tug out of Kravitz’s hold to run ahead on her own, already too adventurous and strong-willed for her own good. By the time they get to the marketplace, Kravitz is exhausted enough to turn around, but Blaine keeps pulling on him, and Jules is excitedly pointing at everything and making up sounds for what it must be called, so Kravitz lets them take the lead.

“Hey!” a voice calls out to him, and Kravitz looks up to see Alan, the fruit vendor Taako’s always buying from, leaning against the side of his fruit stall. “No Taako today?”

“Nope,” Kravitz tells him. Jules shrieks and tries to run to Alan, all excitement and smiles, while Blaine continues trying to drag Kravitz in the opposite direction. “He’s at the school today.”

“That’s too bad, I’ve got some killer bananas,” Alan says. He takes two strawberries down from his cart and hands one each to the girls. “Actually, I’ve got something else I’ve been meaning to ask him about, but you might actually be able to help me out with this.”

Kravitz straightens up, already curious. “What’s that?”

“Hold on,” Alan says, ducking under his stall. Jules tries to lean to see him. Alan stands back up, and he’s not holding fruit— Kravitz was kind of expecting a weird watermelon or something that Taako might be able to identify.

Instead, the guy’s holding a tiny kitten.

“Oh, God,” Kravitz says, because he already  _ loves  _ this kitten. Her fur makes her look like she’s wearing a little tuxedo. Alan crouches down and lifts up a second kitten, an orange girl, by the scruff of her neck, and he holds them both out. Kravitz transfers the girls’ hands to one hand so he can take the kittens into the crook of his arm.

“My cat had a litter and these are the last two left,” Alan explains. “Taako’s always talkin’ about how Magnus loves animals over there at his dog school. Figured he might like cats, too.”

“He likes dogs more,” Kravitz says.

“Oh, well, if you—”

“No, no,  _ I  _ like cats,” Kravitz insists. He looks down at the two kittens nuzzling against his chest. He’s more emotional about them than a reaper/bounty hunter/literal Grim Reaper/Death Incarnate should be allowed to be, but fuck it.

“You can just take them if you want,” Alan says. “I just want them to go to a good home, but lord knows we don’t have space for more fucking cats.”

Kravitz looks down at Blaine and Jules. He crouches down and lets go of their hands, and they both crowd him to look at the kittens. Jules immediately reaches out to grab one, and Kravitz grabs her wrist.

“Be gentle,” he tells her. He guides her hand down and shows her how to softly pet the kitten’s head, and she imitates him, stroking the kitten from her head to her tail. Blaine looks up at Kravitz warily, then holds up her own hand. He does the same with her, guiding her hand down and helping her pet the other kitten. The two of them stand there, petting the cats over and over. Eventually, Jules starts bouncing up and down, pointing at the kitten.

“That’s a cat,” Kravitz says. He points at the kitten, too. “Cat.”

“Cat,” Jules repeats. “Cat, cat, cat—”

“I think we have to take them home,” Kravitz says, looking up at Alan. Alan laughs.

“I think you’re right,” Alan tells him. He digs under the stall again, then pulls up a little canvas bag, handing it over to Kravitz. “That’s some food for ‘em. Come back when you need more, we always have a metric shit-ton of the stuff.”

“Thanks,” Kravitz says. He balances the kittens in one arm and takes Blaine’s hand with the other, because he can trust Jules to stick close to him on their walk home, but he can’t trust Blaine not to try and run off. True to form, Jules stays close to his side, holding onto his pants the whole way back. She stops once to sit under a tree, and Kravitz stops with her. She climbs up onto his lap, and Blaine runs in circles, shouting excitedly as the frost crunches under her feet. Kravitz tucks the kittens into his jacket to keep them warm.

“Cat, cat, cat, cat,” Jules keeps saying, over and over again. She peeks into his jacket to see them again, to pet them. Kravitz lets her, watching Blaine trip and slide into the snow, just to resurface, laughing her head off. The two of them are basically Magnus split in half. Blaine got his adventurous spirit, his determination, his strong will; Jules got his optimism, his playfulness, his sociability. Where Magnus is easy-going, though, Blaine likes to be in charge; she likes to win, she likes to be right, and she’s something of a perfectionist. Where Magnus has been subdued a bit by humility and age, Jules is boundlessly enthusiastic, charming, always making new friends, shamelessly talkative. Kravitz has been thoroughly enjoying watching them grow into individual, independent people the older they get. Even if they’re only eighteen months old now, they’re still old enough to have personalities shining through.

Blaine starts digging in the snow and cold dirt, and Kravitz didn’t bring gloves, so he gets up and starts guiding them back towards the house again. They’re not far, and Blaine runs off as soon as it’s in view, sprinting on shaky legs directly to the front door and slamming into the wood.

“Oh, no— Don’t do that,” Kravitz tells her. He pulls her back and unlocks the door, letting them all in. “Why do you— Don’t hurt yourself, Taako will be so upset.”

“Cat!” Jules exclaims again. Blaine starts trying to tug off her jacket on her own. Kravitz sets the kittens down on the kitchen island to crouch down and help her get unstuck from her sleeves. He hears Magnus’ dogs jumping off of their bed, and then they’re barrelling into the entryway with him, and he brushes Johann off so he can finish pulling Jules’ jacket off.

“What,” Kravitz hears a voice saying, and that’s Taako,  _ oops,  _ “The  _ fuck.  _ is this.”

Kravitz looks up, and Taako’s standing in the front doorway, Magnus behind him, Wyatt on his hip, fast asleep.

“Are those cats?” Magnus exclaims. He passes Wyatt off to Taako and goes to the counter, picking up one of the tiny kittens in his gigantic hand. “Oh, my  _ God,  _ look at her! She’s so little! Where did you find her?”

“Alan gave them to us,” Kravitz tells them.

“I’ll kill Alan,” Taako says. “I’m not running a fucking  _ zoo  _ here, where the fuck do you think we’re going to put  _ two cats—” _

“Cat!” Jules shouts. Taako looks down at her. They stare at each other for a long, long moment, before Taako sighs.

“Guess we’re keeping them,” Taako says, and Magnus cheers, lifting the kitten up above his head. The kitten meows, a tiny thing, and Kravitz and Magnus sigh at the same time.

“She’s so cute,” Magnus says. “Do you think I can train them like I train the dogs?”

“Cats can be very smart,” Kravitz tells him. “I bet you can try.”

“I’ll teach them to be emotional support animals.” Magnus picks up the second kitten in his other way. “We’ll train them. They’ll be awesome to have around the house.”

“I’ve heard cats make excellent emotional support animals,” Kravitz says. Taako throws his coat at the coat rack and lays down on the couch, Wyatt asleep on his chest.

“You don’t even  _ need me,”  _ Taako exclaims emphatically. “Just the two of you, running your little daycare-slash-zoo, ruining the lives of innocent townspeople when your stampede ravages the town.”

“You’re still our favorite,” Magnus says. He hands the kittens over to Kravitz, leans over the back of the couch, and kisses Taako for a long, long time. Long enough that Kravitz gets up to see what’s going on. When Magnus stands up straight again, Taako pulls his bottom lip into his mouth, staring up at him. He furrows his brow.

“Fine,” Taako says. Magnus pumps his fists into the air and jogs back to Kravitz, grabbing one of the kittens back from him. “It’s not because you’re good at this! It’s because my emotions are all stupid and I’m horny all the time.”

“Cat, cat,” Jules says. Taako looks over at her.

“I’m so fucking glad you said  _ cat,”  _ Taako says.

“Fuck,” Blaine says. Taako sighs and pulls one of the couch’s throw pillows over his face. Magnus hands the cat to Blaine.

“Cat,” he tells her, pointing at the kitten. “Cat. Cat. Cat—”

“We  _ know  _ you know it, Magnus,” Taako calls over the couch. “It’s a cat, we heard you.”

“Cat,” Blaine repeats. Magnus kisses her on the forehead. “Cat?”

“That’s right, kiddo,” Magnus tells her. He hands the kitten to her and leans back over the back of the couch, pulling the pillow off Taako’s head, cupping his face in his hand, and kissing him deeply. Kravitz strokes the kitten in his hand, watching them kiss. Eventually, he gets up and goes over to them, sneaking Wyatt out from between them and laying him down in Magnus’ armchair to keep napping. He sits on the arm of the chair and observes them, trying to will himself to remain calm.

Eventually, Magnus lifts his head. He smiles at Taako, a private little thing that Kravitz likes seeing them share. He kisses Taako on the forehead and stands up, and Taako groans, covering his face with the pillow again.

“I fucking hate you,” Taako says. “Keep the kittens. Get chickens and goats for all I care. Let’s just have thirty kids and build a farm, we’re halfway there anyways.”

“I’m gonna take you up on that,” Magnus says. Taako pulls the pillow down.

“Which part?” he asks.

“All of it.”

Taako’s cheeks color a bit. He looks to Kravitz. “Do you hear this bullshit?”

“Yeah,” Kravitz says. He looks down at the kitten in his hands. “So, we can get more cats?”

“You’re fucking  _ insufferable,”  _ Taako tells him. He sits up, and Wyatt sits up on the armchair, wide awake, like there’s some invisible thread connecting the two of them. He clambers off of the sofa and stumbles over to Taako, climbing up onto the sofa to sit on his chest. “God—  _ Jesus,  _ you’re getting heavy, kid, you’re crushing my lungs.”

Magnus lifts Wyatt up and settles him along Taako's side instead, and Kravitz watches Taako push his and Wyatt's foreheads together.

“Maybe we can have a couple more,” Taako concedes, smiling into Wyatt’s face. “Only if they like me as much as Wyatt does.”

“Cat?” Jules asks. Taako sighs.

“Yeah, cat,” he says. “You can keep the cats, just—  _ keep the fucking cats.” _

“What cat?” Lup asks, leaning in the doorway between her rooms and the living room, Delilah in a sling across her chest. “Oh, shit, is that a cat—  _ Oh, shit, is that two cats?” _

“Alan gave Kravitz kittens!” Magnus exclaims. Lup takes the one Blaine holds up to show her, pressing her face to the kitten’s face.

“Oh, man, you gotta keep these cats,” Lup says.

“You got cats?” Barry asks, from behind her. Taako groans loudly. Kravitz just grins, sliding down to sit in Magnus’ armchair, still stroking the kitten in his hands. “Aw, man, they’re so cute.”

“We’re keeping them because this is a fucking farm now, I guess,” Taako tells him. “I always wanted to live in, like, some cool castle or something. Instead we live on Magnus’ Happy Farm World.”

“That’s not such a bad place to be,” Magnus says. “Plus, your garden’s really cool.”

“It’s kind of a nice place,” Kravitz comments. Taako looks at him, and his ears flick back as he watches him. Kravitz crosses his legs, and Taako grins.

“Yeah, it is kinda nice,” Taako agrees. The front door opens, and Kravitz looks up to see Angus in the doorway. He holds up the kitten in his hands, and Angus drops his bag at the door.

“That’s a kitten,” Angus says. Lup holds up her kitten. “That’s  _ two  _ kittens.”

“It’s a never-ending fucking parade of people saying the word  _ kitten,”  _ Taako says.

“Cat?” Blaine asks. Taako rubs at his face with his hands, then points at the kitten in Kravitz’s hands, the one that looks like it’s wearing a tuxedo.

“That one is Skelly,” Taako says, then he points at the orange kitten Lup has. “And that is Mangoose.”

“What?” Kravitz asks.

“If you’re bringing them into my house, I get to name them,” Taako says. “Their names are Skelly and Mangoose.”

“Okay,” Magnus agrees easily. He takes Mangoose out of Lup’s hands and lifts her high up in the air. Mangoose meows softly. “Mangoose!”

“Cat!” Jules exclaims. Blaine starts trying to climb Magnus’ leg. Kravitz hands Skelly over to Angus, who starts talking to the cat right away like she’s a person, murmuring to her and stroking her ears with his fingertip. Kravitz locks eyes with Taako, who rolls his eyes and acts put-upon, until Wyatt tugs on his ear and drags his attention back, pressing his hand to his father’s cheek. Taako says something softly to him, something Kravitz can’t hear, so he looks at Lup instead, where she’s leaning over Angus and talking to the kitten, too, pushing Barry out of the way so he can’t hear whatever secrets she has to tell Skelly. He wouldn’t have it literally  _ any  _ other fucking way.

**Author's Note:**

> If you have any requests for this series, let me know!
> 
> I also actually wrote two books! It was a long road but, I did it! Ta-da! If you want to read either of them, shoot me a message!
> 
> I have a blog now to request imagines - I just like to make people happy. Submit requests [here!](https://imagine-in-the-fandoms.tumblr.com/ask)
> 
> You can follow me on Twitter at [@nicolelianesolo](https://twitter.com/nicoIodeon) or on Tumblr at [andillwriteyouatragedy](http://andillwriteyouatragedy.tumblr.com/).


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